This has been an anthem echoed in my walk since joining the family of C3 Auckland and Whangārei. The catch phrase of our very own Ps Fiona; the epitome of both virtue and valour. A witness of how to be both strong in morals and in stature, walking with God for the long haul with boldness and conviction. 

I choose Joy!!!

I'll never forget my first  Everywoman Conference the Art of Joy (2014).

Happiness I had heard of and chased down many dead end paths that only led me further away. But joy, honestly i thought was just a novelty only written about in magical books or romantic comedies. I was in my mid twenties and had never encountered this 'joy' that was being talked about.

I walked into a boutique late last year, mostly because it had a sale sign in the window. A shirt caught my eye and as I moved it from the rack, the tag came into view revealing the brand: Among The Brave. I remember holding the fabric in my hands and immediately deciding I had to have it. Fortunately, it fit.

Among the brave.
Lord, let me be counted among the brave.

For a time in my life, I saw God as the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff swooping in to save us at the last second. And while God is pretty good at saving us, I’ve learnt that He also wants to prepare us for life’s trials and tribulations in advance.

The Oxford Dictionary defines Victory and Valour as:
Victory: The act of defeating an enemy or opponent in battle, or other competition.
Valour: Great courage in the face of danger, especially in battle.
Victory versus defeat. Valour versus cowardice.

When I think of virtue and valour, Deborah comes to mind. Not only was she a prophet but she also judged Israel for over forty years. The Israelites were being oppressed by the Canaanites and during that time God spoke to Deborah and gave her a battle plan. 

Everywoman has always had a special place in my heart. I have grown up in this church. I started coming along with my mum and my sister when I was 8 years old. I was growing up in a world where the leadership of women was questioned. It was not the norm. The world didn't always value women and the church didn't always want to hear them. But as a kid, all I knew was that God had created me and had a purpose for my life. 

What a lineage of valour we have as Christians and women of C3 church.
We need only look to those who have gone before us in the last 20 years of Everywoman and shown great courage to pave the way for us to be where we are today. We also have the example of women of the bible – Miriam, Ruth, Rahab, Deborah, Jael, Esther, Elizabeth, the Mary's, Martha, Anna, Priscilla, Lydia, and the list goes on. If you don’t know their stories, I encourage you to read them and be heartened.

A declaration for EVERY Woman: We are Women of FAITH. We are OVERCOMERS. We have JESUS! We walk with the HOLY SPIRIT!
We serve an ALL-MIGHTY GOD and, WE CAN DO ALL THINGS through CHRIST who strengthens us.

I was telling a colleague at work this week my story of having my son Lachie with his spontaneous ‘genetic mutation’ which caused him to have dwarfism. Their response was ‘how unlucky’ which I countered was so far from the truth. As Christian women, we all know that life is full of ‘unlucky’ circumstances and unprecedented battles, but my life is a testament to how through these moments we can rise up and stand firm. 

This year we are celebrating 20 years of Everywoman conference. Our annual gathering of the girls - go the girls!! We’ve hung bras across the auditorium, given away double beds, laid wet muddy grass for a tropical theme, laughed, cried, been healed, delivered, and worn bright bold lipsticks!! 

From a young age, I was told having children may never happen at all but if it did, it certainly wouldn't be natural and would most definitely be a challenge. But even from that young age, I held so tightly to the dream that one day I would have my own children.

A sinner lost, broken, surviving. Longing to be loved and accepted, even by my own parents, good behaviour and school grades were rewarded. My coping mechanism in life was to please people. How?

Holding grace hostage; extending grace to others.
Take a moment to think of your life before Christ. Your thoughts, actions, habits, attitudes... I used to smoke; heavily. Thankfully, through God’s grace (and patience), I am a new creation now - but it’s taken time! And it wasn’t always an easy walk.

I love God, with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my mind & with all my strength. By His wonderful Grace I’ve been restored, transformed & made new! Our story is one of redemption, of the miraculous & of a child-like faith; we now dedicate our lives to sharing what God can do, if you simply believe.

I genuinely do not know what I would do without grace. What I do know is that perfection, for me, is the antithesis of grace. Perfection is striving to be a person without faults or defects, and it is something I struggle with. Trying to be perfect is tiring. Putting on a perfect façade seems to be so common these days with the likes of social media.

As Christians, we know about the grace of God, but we may not know about the fullness of it. Recently, I was reading How People Grow by Dr Henry Cloud and John Townsend and I saw grace from a fresh perspective.

The hardest trial has been the loss of our daughter Hope, unexpected and sudden, just prior to child birth. Hope was our rainbow baby. When we found out we had lost her at the hospital it was the day of the birth plan and we had just finished our bump photos a few hours before. This day I will never forget – “I am so sorry, there is no heartbeat”.. What do you do in a situation like that?

The last 2 years have been one of the toughest seasons of my life, from tragically losing my son (only child) to suffering multiple miscarriages and trauma. Grief has forced me into an “in-between” place where everything I thought I knew about God has been questioned.

Grace is such a pretty word and conjures up pretty images in our minds but the reality in my Christian walk is that as true grace works in my life it isn’t always pretty, it can even be messy. I spent so many years in “survivor mode”. As a solo mum with 3 very young children everything became about my ability to get things done, to provide, to protect and to create some kind of security.